I used to watch John and Kate Plus 8. Not regularly, but if I came across it, I wouldn’t change the channel. I remember a particular episode where Kate was losing her patience-a lot. She was yelling-a lot. No judgy-mcjudgerson here, I mean seriously, she has EIGHT children. In the episode, the six little ones were just wobbling around. I can’t even. Holy-freakin-diapers! I didn’t have kids at the time but I could still understand how difficult it must be to take care of all those little ones. I just think it says something that my main takeaway from the episode was the severity of her frustration. Like she was going to implode.
I have never been patient. Never. I tend to move at one speed at all times-Mach 20. Anything that pumps the breaks on my momentum tends to feel the wrath. I figured that once I gave birth the patience gene would appear. I figured it was a chemical change that happens in your body once you become a mother. I mean, once you have a baby you HAVE to have patience right? Nah su much.
Recently, I find myself sounding like Kate-a lot. Losing my patience and becoming frustrated at these two little humans that are just trying to figure it all out. I try to get out of the house and my three year old says “I do it MYSELF” at least a dozen times. Which means when I look at her before leaving I see, her shirt on backwards, toothpaste all over her cheek, yogurt on her pants and her shoes on the wrong feet. Totally adorable, but the only thing on my mind is how late I will be now that I have to “fix” all these things. In that moment I should be recognizing the look of pride in her eyes because to her, she DID do it all herself. But all she hears are the groans and sighs and all she sees is the look of annoyance in my eyes. I hate to think what that does to her.
If my son wants to help in the kitchen, and I get frustrated because the egg shells are in the mix and the flour has gotten all over the floor that I just cleaned. I should be excited that he wants to help as he is such a picky eater that this may be the only way I can get him to try new things and be as excited about food as I am.
These moments will be gone in a flash. Does it really matter that I am going to be off my schedule by the 10 minutes it will take to help her? Will it kill me to fish out the eggshells and clean the floor again? Absolutely. Not. So…in staying with my resolution of trying to better myself, I MUST MUST MUST be more present and calm. I have got to find joy in these little moments. Take pleasure in the fact that this sweet little girl is going to be independent and determined and my support will help her do that. Remember how great it is that this amazing little boy is going to be interested, helpful, smart and caring and how I react to his engagement in different activities will help him grow.
I would hate for my kids to look back at their childhood and think Mommy was always so mad or frustrated. I want them to think of these times as happy ones. I want them to remember the expression on my face as smiling, not frowning. Because this is definitely the happiest time of my life and they are the reason.
Here are a few things from the internet I found that really hit home for me on this topic.
I like this Mom’s advice.
I am seriously thinking of this. I’ve been wanting to try for a while.
This post makes my heart stop a little. I can totally relate.
Have you had luck in becoming more patient in motherhood? I need details!